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| 1 | A long tradition of lameness by Vincent Anderson · Opinions | Volume 129, Issue 8 Editor's Note: We formally retract all information about Frederick Winter's comedic hypnotist performance, which took place Friday, Jan. 9, that is printed in this article. It was not factually gathered and we apologize to everyone for giving a false impression. Last Friday, Jan. 9, Cornell’s Performing Arts and Activities Council, PAAC, hosted comedy hypnotist Frederick Winters as part of its ongoing series of incredibly lame events on the OC. For those of you unacquainted with the art of comedic hypnotism, here is a taste of what to expect from Winters’s website: “Although I don’t actually use a watch, I sure have a great time hypnotizing people!” Besides the ability to make egregious puns, Winters claims to have other amazing hypnotist powers, including the ability to make people lose weight, quit smoking and become better at sports. |
| 2 | Chilly facts on global warming by Brittany Szczepanik · News | Volume 129, Issue 8 It may be difficult to consider the effects of global warming in the midst of frigid conditions and sub-zero wind chills; however, this process is definitely in motion. According to NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies, the average temperatures have climbed about 1.4 degrees Fahrenheit around the world since 1880. |
| 3 | DiCaprio/Winslet: Powerhouse duo by Brendan Murphy · AE | Volume 129, Issue 8 “Revolutionary Road,” the film adaptation of Richard Yates’ 1961 novel of the same name, begins in media res with a scene taking place somewhere in the middle of the marriage of Frank and April Wheeler, the protagonists in this mid-century drama. At first, they appear to be happily in love, with Frank comforting April after her subpar performance in a play, but they quickly run into a marital spat on their drive home. We soon learn that this incident is just one of many such fights that characterize the marriage of Frank and April. |
| 4 | Holiday hoops: Rams mixed results in limited action by Jeff Boyle · Sports | Volume 129, Issue 8 The holiday season, while never the most busy part of the schedule, is very important for basketball squads as they finish the early part of their season. The Rams’ squads played some important games over the break that, while not counted in the conference season, helped get them ready for the important month of January. These games helped the teams improve their chances for the conference tournament, chances which look promising as the teams are off to a combined 13-6 start. |
| 5 | Israeli troops head to Gaza by Zari Zahra · News | Volume 129, Issue 8 Israel’s air attacks and the following ground assault have continued in the face of persistent rocket attacks by Hamas on southern Israel since Dec. 27. According to Israeli authorities, the military campaign is aimed at stopping militants from firing rockets and mortars into Israeli territory, which have killed five Israelis. Israeli troops, tanks, artillery and helicopters have made headway into Gaza, bisecting the coastal Gaza strip and surrounding its largest city. |
| 6 | Problems with accessibility at Cornell by Ariel Glasman · Opinions | Volume 129, Issue 8 I wish there were a concrete rule somewhere that explicitly outlined when it is appropriate to use an elevator. As a sociology and education double major, most of my life at Cornell is spent at College Hall — by a further twist of fate, I am almost always on the third floor. That leaves a pressing question: Do I, a young, relatively in shape, girl of nineteen take the elevator? If it has been raining, I give myself permission, but if there are lots of people milling around, I take the stairs. Sometimes, I press the button and walk away for a couple of seconds and come back with a surprised look on my face, like, “My goodness! The elevator has mysteriously arrived. Might as well hop in!” My worst moment was taking the elevator up with a very wise, albeit very aged, professor — the sort of person who deserves a ride up or down every now and then. As we rode the elevator up in silence, I found myself thinking the entire time, “He thinks I’m lazy, he thinks I’m lazy, he’s judging me and thinking that I am lazy.” Right before the doors opened, I blurted out a big, fat lie: “I was glad to take the elevator this morning after twisting my ankle!” I doubt he believed me. |
| 7 | Second semester’s preview of Rams’ athletics by Jeff Boyle · Sports | Volume 129, Issue 8 One semester down and only one to go this year. For Rams fans, this means only one semester left to watch their beloved teams take it to their opponents. The second semester is full of exciting sports games for fans to take in, and there are some very talented teams that will take the field sporting purple and white. So here it is folks, a primer for the final five months of this year’s Rams athletics. |
| 8 | Seeing the glass as half-full by The Cornellian Editorial Board · Opinions | Volume 129, Issue 8 Despite a dismal beginning to 2009 with the downward spiraling economy and an escalating conflict in the Gaza Strip, there is still reason to be hopeful about the upcoming year. Yes, the dreaded “hard times” are upon us, but there is no reason to expect a return to Dickensian poverty. This is a temporary situation which needs to be faced with patience, not panic. Even with the recession, the vast majority of Americans will still be faring better than most people across the world. |
| 9 | Task force revises pledging procedures by Erin McNeill · News | Volume 129, Issue 8 Wednesday, Dec. 17, a new set of Greek organization pledging standards guidelines was completed by a task force made up of both affiliated and non-affiliated students, faculty and staff members. This task force, called the Pledging Standards Revision Committee, was created to look at and revise the then-current guidelines. “We had full support of the Greek community to change the guidelines,” Heather Fransen, chair of the Pledging Standards Revision Committee, said. “The old document presented the pledging process in a very negative light and we wanted to give it a more positive tone.” |
| 10 | Year-end hullabaloo: The ten best albums of 2008 by Nathan Sacks · AE | Volume 129, Issue 8 Though 2008 saw the release of several high-profile and heavily-hyped new albums from Fleet Foxes, No Age and Vampire Weekend, it occurred to me as I was compiling this list that the majority of my favorite albums from 2008 were made by veterans of all sorts of fringe music scenes from the past 20 years. It was a good year, I think, for comebacks. I call 2008 the year of the rock vets resharpening their tools and making sounds that seem to transcend what they were capable of in the past. Unfortunately, Axl Rose is not among them. |
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